Love is like a flower,; fragile yet strong, tender, life sustaining, complex and beautiful ; Take the ability to let it blossom in your Secret Garden

Why is it they say that love is like a flower; plant the seed, water it, care for it and watch it blossom! Yes, sometimes that flower may lose its petals or die, but at least you took the time to watch it grow and prosper and enjoy every second of when it opened slowly and carefully….. Beautiful isn’t it? In Winter, when it rains nothing can beat the sight of a petal with a tiny water drop rolling down its skin right into its stem and soul to feed it and comfort it. It’s like a tear of joy falling slowly down one’s face reaching your throat and finally your soul repairing you and making you whole again. In summer when the sun beams down and shows the full spectrum of colours that the beautiful petal possesses it can be breathtaking. Just as joy beams down our bodies reflecting our souls and deepest facets, letting others appreciate both the inner and outer being.

Yes, you may find that seed; brought/borrowed or stolen. Planted, cared for and loved. Yet it never blossoms or grows; a lack of faith perhaps? A stroke of fate perhaps? Or maybe just a flower never meant to be perhaps planted in a barren desert left to wither and die. A seed planted in the right place at the right time will always prosper, a seed planted out of desperation, need, greed or self love or one sided infatuation is like a seed thrown into a rubbish bag a waste of time, energy and sometimes incurring the wrath of, or to the detriment of another individual. I have planted many a seed like this and expected a flower to “Pop up” without any effort or love – impossible – the flower sometimes blooms but dies quickly and leaves a barren space in either mine or my partner’s secret garden, sometimes I or a lover have stood on this seed, planted together or alone and trampled it, broken it, beyond repair leaving it either unable to resuscitate it, bring it to life with fertiliser and water through care and understanding rather leaving behind the hurt of this bruised and battered beauty, just not meant for this world and not for this Secret Garden. Its not to say I have not or did not always put in the love and warmth vital for the flower to grow, in some cases I thought I had found my own Secret Garden and perhaps envisioned not only one flower blossoming but an entire garden filled with lilies, roses, frangipanis, sunflowers and daisies, a bright and colourful world but the season in this garden quickly turned to autumn, still hopeful as the beauty of the rust and amber leaves floated gently from the trees covering the grass with a carpet which I believed meant Winter would come and with it frostbite and an icy chill but the hope of Spring and new blossoms and aromas just around the corner waiting patiently to breathe its warm breath of life. However in both these circumstances the soil of my heart or another’s was dry and hard and not ready for that seed, not ready for beauty and not ready for love or perhaps just not in that soil perhaps not meant for my Secret Garden, perhaps not in the plan our Father has in store for me.

When I look deep inside myself, deep into my Secret Garden, I know it is ready, fertile, strong and prepared for the seed of love to be planted. Yet I am so afraid of planting that seed; afraid that the Iris might not blossom; afraid that out of fear and my blindness to reality that I may trample that St Josephs Lily again; afraid of being given that seed of an Iceberg Rose to plant only to have it stolen or crushed by the giver; Afraid I will always believe that the grass is greener, the flowers more colourful and the earth more fertile in someone else’s garden;

I am afraid to ever let another into my own Secret Garden. Maybe I never have Maybe it is time, Maybe in my Secret Garden one seed planted will fill the entire space, colours will change, seasons will come and go but at least I know I will have experienced the blessings that come with planting that flower and letting it grow.

This beauty, joy, peace, sanctity and rest I know I will find in my Secret Garden, a place I now know I have ever let anyone into not even myself.

Love lost - you need that piece/peace of you returned....

Its amazing how you can love an individual to your very core, to wake up with them on your mind and have them be your last thought at night. Always wanting the best for them. Loving them, nurturing them and sharing your everything with them... but yet holding back afraid to show your true feelings for fear of rejection. Do you think this means it was not right? He was not right for you? or you were never meant to be.

The hurt and sadness fades after awhile although we never think it will.But they have taken a part of your heart and deep inside they hold that piece unintentionally, but still they have have it and you feel they have it......one day you wake up and realise they are happy and in love with another, treating them the way you always wanted them to treat you. loving them, nurturing them and sharing their all with that other person. Wanting the best for that one love of your life becomes bittersweet and brings back the memories of hurt and sadness yet you have to finally take back that piece of your heart and restart that grieving process knowing you will one day be fine and Happy with your own soul mate- Ce st La Vie - What will be will be and what does not kill you, might make you cry, but definitely makes you stronger.....

Johannesburg crime alert: Hijack gang poses threat in northern suburbs

Johannesburg crime alert: Hijack gang poses threat in northern
suburbs

Alert Area
31 March 2010 Johannesburg. The murder of a Johannesburg businessman on Monday night
in Parktown highlights the operation of a hijacking syndicate that appears to be targeting victims
in the northern suburbs. Peter Granat, the Managing Director of Autozone, was shot dead
apparently after being pulled off the road by a vehicle displaying blue police lights. TravelSafe
has learned that over the past month several similar incidents have occurred in Sandton,
Douglasdale, Woodmead and Randburg, all roughly 15-20km from the Johannesburg CBD and
within 10-15km of the Sandton CBD. A particularly high risk area appears to be between the
Marlboro off-ramp and the Buccleuch interchange, on the N3/M1 highways. The most common
time of incidents is between 1900 and 2100. Current information suggests that the perpetrators
comprise a white male driver and three black male occupants. Most victims appear to have
been abducted for short periods and then released unharmed.
Our Comments
Motorists are advised to exercise extreme vigilance and caution in the areas and at the times
indicated. We advise that motorists who are confronted with any umarked vehicle displaying
flashing blue lights on the vehicle dashboard should put their hazard lights on and proceed to
the nearest police station, while summonsing support from emergency/police services. The
gang should be considered extremely dangerous and confrontation with the perpetrators should
be avoided.
Date: 31st March 2010

The Beginnings of my Biography to my sis– Debbie Bayvel Victorious over Cancer

Life should be so simple yet it is so complicated. Is that a choice we make or a path we are given to test us and strengthen us, improve our characters and sort the strong from the weak. And yet I am not sure if I believe there are weak people out their only people belittled and stifled by their circumstances. I am not saying there are not by any means only these two sets of people in this place we call our World. In each of these categories there are hundreds and thousands of tiers going off in all directions arrogance pride, ego, self pity, self doubt we all exist in our own honesty or on a stage where the world will never know who we truly are. God created us man and woman equal and strong yet we choose to ignore this and carry on our lives as if he does not exist until crunch time comes and we need him.

Debs, I write this book to you not only as my sister, but best friend, heroine and a person who has not let Life’s struggles get her down. Instead you have risen to the occasion and insured you stayed on that rocky path because you knew no stone could damage your soft and tiny soles, as your Father in Heaven was and always will carry you and when needed let your guardian angels fly you up to an easier and safer point on your journey through this short existence of earthly life.

.

A speech to my father Ex Springbok and above all hero daddy

Hi Daddy,

Thank goodness I begged mom and you not to have another baby this speech would have been really long and I wouldn’t have got to say …. Last but by no means least is my part!

I have so many special memories of and with you that it’s hard to choose which one I like best! Most of them involve that special the trait Bronni and I have inherited from you – our driving skills – not only the drunken ones!

You have sunk a car, driven into your Harley with a car, driven home on just metal rims , driven home in a car escorted by police who were then told they could not arrest you as you were home already. You now have a polo 4x4 a Porsche and a golf cart we are waiting to see which one lands up in one of the Blair Atholl dams first!

Dad, from when I was a little girl and you told me that the scary face at the window would get me and then made me run to fetch your smokes in the lounge – I knew that returning to you would always be my safe haven and it has been. Dad when ever anything has gone wrong or right in my life you are the one I look to for advice and support – even though it takes me a few mistakes to realize you are and probably will always be right. You are the best father anyone could ask for you have provided for us loved us, guided us and taught us that living life can be fun as long as it is done with integrity and honesty.


Dad, I love you and am so glad to be so close to you and mom. I know I will be your little Becky forever and nothing could make me happier.

When God created me and gave me to you and mom he knew what he was doing!

To a precious girl and friend who has lost the light of her life- her beautiful 17month old boy.... Jude

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

Somebody asked me what i thought a democratic country was... I have my own ideas not what the encyclopedia of South African government dictates

Well I guess to me, and I am not hugely into politics, a Democratic country equals freedom of speech, freedom of rights etc. I was born into apartheid South Africa but never fully was aware of the actual reality of it. I went to a Christian school which was multi racial from the age of six, and my best friend and those of my sisters were of another colour…. to us there was no difference. Our domestic was treated as a member of the family and was our second mother even giving us hidings etc. I do not believe our Government fathoms what the word "democracy" even means. Fair and equal rights for all no matter your skin colour, age, sex etc. I believe South Africa is on the verge of a reverse apartheid as we claim to be democratic yet a young white South African male is not able to get a job even if he is more suitable then another of a different colour or sex, who applies at the same time - that is autocratic and unfair. The apartheid era is gone and we should live in a country where it is free and equal. I understand due to what our forefathers did, which was inexcusable, that their is hatred amongst the people however this comes out in the younger generation where apartheid was not even a part of their lives, it is there parents who suffered and yet their parents who do not have racism, hatred and violence in their souls. We are now battling with education, medical due to having no funds etc however how does it help to allow all Africans to live here - we give Nigerians a passport taking a South Africans chance at a job. When in a first world country as we aim to be, the Nigerian would be deported immediately if he did not have a valid reason for being here i.e. he could create jobs and improve our economy. I believe the same problem lies with having a Youth leader, Julius Malema, who is a complete dictator and preys on the uneducated to cause hatred, crime and turmoil he has four cars which if sold could support a 100 families + for a year?!?!??!?. With a democratic unbiased non racist youth leader we could bring up a generation of colour blind, trusting and ambitious youth ready to help each other and live in harmony. So I guess in essence this is where I feel South Africa should be headed and what a Democratic Country is : embrace other cultures, live in harmony, equal rights according to your qualifications, and look after your own countrymen before helping those you do not have the means to help. Pray forgive me if I am wrong or unjustified in my beliefs, but I am tired of not being able to drive at night, of having to mistrust a beggar at the corner who could be there just trying to feed his family, of worrying about carrying R 100 on me encase "someone" sees. Not only do we have to watch our backs due to heightened levels of stress and anger, amongst our friends and family, but we are constantly waiting for a stranger on the street to come up behind us and take what is rightfully ours. Don't get me wrong, at a rugby game when our anthem is sung, I get goose bumps and my heart goes out to every homeless person there is- If I could I would support them all. What makes me furious is our "Leaders" who could turn this country around in a positive manner are turning it THE WRONG WAY!

The black bra..Ladies this is too funny

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men
by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.
We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black
leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you..'
Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes..
When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble
and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black
stockings,
stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said,
"What's for dinner, Batman?"

My Dog, MyMimi, My Companion and my liitle sleeping partner

Ahhhhh the love of a dog, in my case one who does not have an owner but rather a slave to his every whim and desire.

The story starts with a girl(me) who received a Rottweiler, my favorite dog, as a Valentines gift from my first boyfriend and love - well we broke up and he took, Dre, my companion and best friend who carried me through anxiety attacks, heart ache and loneliness.I cried myself to sleep every night and woke up empty and alone.... where was my beloved Dre? Apparently to my dismay first a guard dog and then given to my sister Debs' ex, a wonderful man yet a hippy who had decided that growing hydroponic herbs was the new it thing..... I was not allowed the animal back and needless to say the ache in my heart faded, although a part of it was now missing.

Next came Lucy, my crazy eccentric beautiful Weimaraner.Silver coated,blue-eyed and again I fell in love ♥... yes another present from my second love, Sascha, a German Pilot I loved, lived with and had my heart broken by. Again on the eve of our Break-up Lucy was taken from under my nose, this the puppy who at three months had kennel cough and pneumonia, which was then passed along to me in the form of whooping cough, whom I had cried with at the vet as they tranquilized this tiny body and told us she would not live past four months. Tears pour down my face as I write this story as Lucy has taken another piece of my heart. A large one. And the wound is still raw and seeping.( patterns of dog napping have clearly became part of my love life, a petition needs to be circulated and a law passed that one can add a pre-nup to a relationship regarding animals). Lucy now lives in Plett and swims in the ocean everyday, has a huge garden and is loved unconditionally by her Granny.... yet selfishness takes over and the ache for her sometimes overwhelms me. How does an animal become the love of your life you ask? The answer is simple: They love you unconditionally quirks, faults and clumsiness; they even fore go and dismiss the dreaded pimple on your nose which you have applied everything from tea tree oil to toothpaste to nail varnish remover to kill!

Thank you Sascha, that you at least gave me one thing, one new companion, one new child and the best addition to my life, My little Italian Grey Hound, Massimo;Mimi:Rat;Boo;Babby;little man and more. What would I do without coming home to my Mimi cuddled up on HIS couch in the lounge waiting for Mom, Granny or Grandpa ( His Best and this is when he falls under the alias ...RAT). He snuggles with his mom, spoons her and licks away her tears, he jogs besides me like a little racehorse in his "Mutt United" vest and puts up with the fact that I am barley walking just looking up at me every now and then as if to say "Mom, can you speed things up these legs were made for running not walking backwards!",He loves all the other dogs and has become the entertainment for Dutch and Mika, the Bull Mastiffs, and Studley and Diva, the Chihuahuas. Much to Studley's, our little gay and grumpy BUT MIGHTY chihuahua,dismay and horror - even though he hates to admit loving Diva, the farm girl Chihuauhua- Her and Massimo are in love ♥ so precious.... Studley has carried on humping Dutches tail to prove a point! Mimi, Mommy is coming home soon!

This story is to be continued......

What I feel about love right now

Someone should not be your reason for waking up in the morning, but your reason for coming home at night.Live your dream beside someone not behind or in front of them. Complete yourself first....You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams - my new motto ♥

New South Africa? Julius Would Love this - A case of misinterpretation or honesty

My Sister, My Heroine, My Friend.

When I was younger than I am today, much, much younger
The news of your coming struggle was a puzzle
It was quite small then
Today it is one of the most significant and inspirational things I have

My heart was young and I felt your pain
As I got older the more it became
I wished it away, I simply had to pray
Although it isn’t here the way it used to be, it lurks silently

I want to free you, I want to be with you
I want to hold, hug and comfort you
I want to call out to the world and show them you
I want to give the world your hope.

My sister, my heroine, my friend
My Sunshine, my moonlight bright
This journey will have no end, it will be an eternity of hope
My Sister

In the depths of my heart I have loved no one more
In the darkness of my day, I light it with you
IN the midst of my every moment, I hope
My Sister, Hope shines from you

To the world

DEBBIE BAYVEL IS TRUELY A LEGEND AND INSPIRATION

We know this story will touch your hearts as our sister’s life has touched so many others around her.

After two years of complaining of unbearable pain in her side, which doctors had decided was physcosomatic due to a lack of attention - which believe me was never a problem in our house(at the age of 26 I still believe I am a princess because my folks told me I was one in 1987), Debs was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, Ewings Sarcoma. She was nine. This type of cancer affects the long bones and has a 2% survival rate! The primary tumor, which was the size of an orange, had been found on her ribs. This mass was removed along with three ribs and a quarter of her lung, which were than replaced with wire ribs and steel mesh. Three years of chemotherapy were to follow. Amazingly enough, or should I just say because Debs is Debs, the chemo made her sick only once, and then it was greasy food and salt and vinegar chips all the way... still with rosy cheeks and her bright and cheery disposition….

During her third year of chemo Debs discovered a bump on her head. A secondary tumor had grown but already miracles were happening - these tumors generally only appear when they are too big to “fix” and don’t give you pain, Debs had pain, amazing! But still…..Doctors called our folks in and told them it was a matter of months, weeks or even days before our sis would lose her life, as once a secondary tumor of this form of cancer is found that’s supposed to be IT literally.

I will never forget that day I was seven and my folks, older sister Bron and I were devestated, and absolutely helpless. Debs however at the age of twelve, with an amazing amount of Faith and a strength hard to fathom, calmed us all down and informed everyone that she was going to win this battle with Jesus. A document was signed, and her name was once again written by her and God in the book of life.

After a course of radiation which no-one thought would help, this twelve by two centimeter invasion of her tiny body, which was meant to “spread like wildfire” through her entire system, grew only 2cms in two years... so the flabbergasted doctors decided to operate removing the giant mass and large section of the skull on top of her head. A further miracle occurred during the surgery.. my amazing mother prayed beforehand that the tumor would be encapsulated between the lobes of the brain and would not have penetrated the brain at all. The first thing the surgeon said as he came out of surgery was, “wow, he had managed to literally lift the tumor out as it had not invaded the brain at all", which of course could have caused brain and nerve damage had it done so.

For the next two years Debs walked around with a “hole” in her head and no protection. However the radiation and surgery had not worked as one microscopic, rapidly multiplying cancerous cell left behind, formed a new tumor and smaller masses kept on popping up on the margin of the previous tumor. And so, after copious amounts of radiation we decided to take our sis to Cincinnati, Ohio where our aunt and uncle, Sandy and Steven Amoils, are medical doctors, to have the latest tumor removed and reconstructive surgery performed to the affected area of her head. The mass was removed and than using a vein from her calf, skin from her thigh, a large muscle from her back and titanium my precious sister’s head was reconstructed, this took thirteen very long hours. Surprising not only us but the surgeons in America Debs was up and at our aunt’s graduation within a week the doctors even discounted there charges as they were so inspired by this child.
But sadly this was not the end of her battle…. A year later following a bump and pain yet again….we discovered a tumor on her knee and pelvis, refusing to have her knee joint removed as was recommended. Debs decided enough of trying to make her the biomechanical woman and opted rather for radiation. The course worked on her knee dissolving the mass completely but not on her pelvis and so a few months later a semi-pelvectomy was performed removing a large section of the hip and steel plates inserted for support these were later removed and so she now has no support in her pelvis. Debs was flat on her back for 6 weeks and still no complaining. I always say its amazing how these things do truly happen to those of us who can handle it. I think I would have given up years before if it had been me and I’m sure plenty agree.

After this last surgery finally the cancer HAD BEEN BEATEN but the repercussions of all this have been enormous. During the twelve years of cancer so many unrelated problems occurred linked to the operations and treatment. One of the chemotherapy drugs, adreomycin has a strictly no exercise rule this was totally unbeknownst to us and Debs was an unbelievable swimmer. After a gala one night she went into heart failure and is now on chronic heart medication for the rest of her life. Through the wire ribs and steel mesh being used to reconstruct the rib cage, one of the wire ribs had come loose and lodged itself one millimeter away from Debs’ spinal cord. Once again, thinking this was phscosamatic, Debs was put in a back brace - squashing this wire invasion further into the spine. After discovering the actual cause of the problem, doctors could not and still cannot believe she is walking today. Then, ever the fanatical Bayvel family rugby supporters (our father was a springbok scrumhalf and so having no sons we were taught rugby in our cots) during the 95 World Cup South Africa vs. Australia opening match Debs, in excitement jumped up and sent a wire rib straight into her scapula. We still tease our Dad that this is the only rugby injury his offspring will ever give him!

Surgeries have also been performed where tumors have been thought to exist, but after much prayer before the surgeries, these have been found to be healing fractures, and yes, amazing the medical world again.

In the eight years that Debs has been clear of cancer, medically if you are cancer free for five years you are in remission, she has undergone more than forty reconstructive operations, has suffered a mild stroke as a result of the the copious amounts of radiation and is now on Epilepsy medication. She also recently underwent an operation removing the titanium in her head as it kept breaking through the skin which could have caused life-threatening infections. Skull implants were fitted which attach to an external “skull cap”. Ever the strength in our family Debs jokes about looking like Frankenstein.

Through everything this angel has endured, she has never felt sorry for herself or been resentful towards others for being normal. Debs and our mom, Denise, have also touched the lives of so many children and adults suffering with this cruel disease and have given them hope that it can be beaten.
Debs says if she has had to have gone through all of this just to touch and inspire these lives she would do it again in a heartbeat.

My mother and father are also the most amazing people. I don’t think one ever knows what it feels like to have a sick child and being totally helpless and nothing within your reach to help. They have also never neglected my older sister Bron or myself which is a rare occurrence in these situations.
Sitting here writing this story makes me unbelievably emotional for what they have been through as parents but yet so grateful to have such a wonderful family.

Thanks Mom and Dad, you are our pillars of strength... and to my older sister Bron for sometimes having to look after me like a parent when times were tough. She is a shining star and my second mom.
But most of all to the most inspirational sister, Debs, you are an absolute angel sent form God to brighten up and inspire others lives.

The only thing that has affected this amazing girl are the physical results of this battle. She is covered in scars, will never have her own hair and walks with a slight limp. Understandibly, these physical issues have given this precious humanbeing a lack of self confidence. You would never say if you met her as you can see in the pictures below, but because I live with her and know that she battles these internal demons constantly to the point where she believes she will never find that special someone to love and adore her...

Debs is truly talented vocally she has the most amazing voice and it is my goal in life to make her succeed with this amazing gift she possesses. I really believe she deserves it.

I feel this story needs to be shared with people going through the same difficulties we went through. I also believe it will inspire and motivate people generally in all walks of life